Pebbles and Grandpa

A couple weeks ago we drove to Milwaukee and back in one day to spend time with the girls' grandparents on Father's Day. They have not been able to see the girls for six weeks, and then only briefly, due to circumstances beyond our control.

It was really evident to Grandpa how verbal Pebbles has become over the last couple of months. She likes to tell true stories now, like how we went to "wimming lessons" and she was "not cared" and it was "gate!" (Translation: swimming lessons, scared, great.)

Pebbles has also been in an affectionate, cuddly mood lately, so she jumped on Grandpa's lap and gave him lots of big hugs. Which, when you think about it, is amazing for a toddler who hasn't really seen someone in a couple of months -- I was surprised she even remembered who he was.

We also stopped into my parents' house on the way to Milwaukee, even though they were out of town. We warned the girls that Grammy and Grampy would not be home, and we were just stopping to pick something up. But that didn't sink in with poor Pebbles.

She walked all around my parents house, checking things out, before finally turning to me and asking, "Where ARE dem?"

Don't worry kiddo, you'll see LOTS of Grammy and Grampy in future weeks, since both you and your sister will be staying with them when we have the baby. You'll be sick of the sight of dem.

Today's Horoscope

Today we have tickets to see the Cubs play the Brewer's at Wrigley Field, and since I also held expensive tickets to a much-anticipated event on the day Nutmeg was born, it's been widely assumed that I'd be in labor by no.
So far, no. And that's a happy thing, because the Cubs won last night, they've got momentum, and I'd love to see them win one this afternoon.
But today's Chicago Tribune horoscope for Cancer, the sign of both Epu and baby-to-be, is humorously ominous:
CANCER: The planning phase is almost over: Time to get to work. Go back to your notes if you can't remember what comes next.
I read that to Epu and we laughed when thinking of it applied to him -- did he take notes last time? No, but with Nutmeg he did have a notecard where he wrote down comfort measure reminders.
But when we realized it also applied to the baby, it was even funnier. Time to get to work indeed! Ride the contraction cannon! Stretch those lungs! Learn to suck!
But what about that part, "go back to your notes"? Perhaps there is such a thing as reincarnation after all.
By the way, the whole family went to the midwife yesterday, without much of anything exciting happening. I weighed in at 172 pounds, 1/2 pound less than last week. The head midwife palpated Toth and declared him about 7 pounds 12 oz., meaning that he will probably be at or near 8 pounds if he's born on the due date next week.
After Epu had taken the kids out to the waiting room, just as I was about to leave, she asked if I wanted to be checked. I always SAY I'm going to decline checking, since it doesn't really tell you when you're going into labor, but then I always cave to curiosity and get checked anyway. I wanted to see if Dr. Sears was right and those "prelabor contractions" had caused me to dilate further than last week.
Nope. I was still between 1 and 2 cm., which the midwife pointed out is a good thing because, while it doesn't predict WHEN I will go into labor, it does mean that once active labor begins the early stage might be a little longer, giving us time for the grandparents to come get the girls (or for us to get home from Wrigley Field).
I like this idea since I have absolutely no dread of the early phase of labor. I feel pretty confident that I can get to 4 cm at least without experiencing much if any discomfort, so why rush through the "early warning" phase?
Meanwhile, my cervix was slightly more effaced, maybe 30 percent instead of 15 percent. Then she said some stuff I didn't understand, like how the cervix was soft and "nice and anterior," but by this time Pebbles was getting really tired for her nap and we needed to get going, so I didn't ask.
By the way, yesterday Toth managed to get his feet BACK up into my rib cage. I'd say I feel his head less on my cervix and pelvic floor. So the bratt really can (somehow) move UP in my torso, and he feels LESS ready to come out today than he did earlier this week.
And that's fine. The girls aren't scheduled to go to Wisconsin until next week, so everything would really be easier if he waits until his due date.
Or a couple days after? The idea of having a couple days "maternity leave" from parenting before he shows up is absolutely dreamy, although on the other hand it is already getting difficult to sleep at night because of my massive baby bump. (I know it doesn't look huge, but did you hear the midwife? 8 pounder.) But on the OTHER other hand, nobody's gonna sleep well once Toth joins us in the outside world. So might as well enjoy the achy, get-up-five-times-to-pee nights while I can.

Pregnancy Update: 39 Weeks

Last night, I wasn't sure I'd be able to post this update today. I had a few Braxton-Hicks contractions that were very strong, lasted well over a minute, and seemed to be coming at some sort of interval. For awhile it seemed like they were every 10 minutes, then maybe every 8.

But the thing is, the whole time I was having them, I was moving around -- cleaning up the kitchen after dinner, running over to Jewel for a bunch of booze*. Actually, a similar thing happened the night before during the post-dinner cleanup and some laundry-putting-away, although not quite as intense.

Both nights, the minute I sat down, the contractions stopped. Most people -- including my midwives -- call that "false labor." But I like dear Dr. Sears' term better: "prelabor contractions." I agree with the explanation there that all the Braxton-Hicks contractions you experience before active labor begins are slowly helping the cervix thin and dilate; they're not for nothing.

So anyway, besides the intensification of the "prelabor contractions," I also had the tiniest streaks of bloody show yesterday. Barely noticeable. I don't think I've ever passed a really recognizable mucous plug with any of my pregnancies, so I don't know if that was it or what. With Nutmeg, it was five days from my first bloody show till the birth; with Pebbles, I don't think I had any until my water broke.

But the Dr. Sears page says labor usually begins within three days of bloody show. Which would put Baby Day on Friday, July 3, which is a hunch I'd had all along. That's my grandfather's birthday, and it's also the day we have tickets to see the Cubs play the Brewers. I KNOW from Nutmeg's birth that a great way to get a baby out is to have expensive tickets to something you'd really like to attend on that day. (With Nutmeg, it was Champions on Ice with Michelle Kwan.)

Besides the contractions and whatnot (don't you like the word whatnot better than, say, "secretions"? I sure do.), I've been feeling what I typically do in late pregnancy: That feeling of heaviness and pressure in my pelvis. No surprise, eh? I have to pee almost ALL the time. I laugh to say this, because if you look at me it would be obvious, but yes, I feel bloated. I feel kind of like I have my period. And I still have heartburn and indigestion even though the baby's lower and not torturing my rib cage as much.

Otherwise, I'm feeling OK. Tired enough that I need to take a nap every afternoon when Pebbles is napping, and Nutmeg has been just great about that. She even asked me yesterday, when I was puttering around getting a few things done, "Why aren't you taking your nap?" She's been on a reading binge, going through a chapter book just about every single day, so she doesn't mind if mom lies motionless for an hour. She often does her reading on the bed with me which is pretty cozy.

But not so tired that I haven't been able to get anything done. I mowed the lawn yesterday. I'm (just barely) keeping up with most of my blogging obligations. There has been some progress on the pre-baby to-do list, although not ENOUGH progress considering that baby might show up any day. We got the baby gear from our friends, I packed 2 hospital bags (one with clothes, etc., and one with snacks, drinks and comfort measures), we blew up the birth ball but found out it won't stay inflated because I think the kids put holes in it, Epu washed the baby clothes and they are waiting to be inventories and put away once a drawer is cleared for them, I shopped for and packed labor supplies like massage oil, drinks, jello, I bought more pregnancy tea and have been drinking it (but it gives me heartburn or maybe that's the lemonade I mix it with ok obviously it's the lemonade but the lemonade makes it taste good), I've been listening to hypnosis tracks on my iPod almost every day, I got some baby bottles as a gift (thanks, Bonneys!), and we wrote, printed and packed multiple copies of the birth plan.

Sure, that SOUNDS like a lot. But remember this is a kid without a nursery and I can't even find the time in my day to clear out a drawer for the poor little thing.

But Epu has the next two days off from work for the holiday weekend, so if we don't have the baby tonight maybe we'll get a few more things done. At any rate, he'll be able to tag along to the midwife again tomorrow which will be nice.

Oh, we also went to that family wedding, and it was very nice, but that's a whole other post. If I get around to writing it.

* Nothing like the sight of a hugely pregnant lady buying a cart full of liquor at 10 o'clock at night, right? The reason for the booze run was not that the midwife's "If you think you're in labor" sheet advised to try one ounce of hard liquor to stop "false labor" (it totally DID advise that, though, which I think is awesome), but because I had a $25 rebate form that required certain alcohol purchases to be made by June 30. I sent it in today; too bad I hadn't thought to put THAT on my pre-baby checklist or I'd have another thing to cross off.

Pregnancy Update 38 Weeks

I'm posting this update from Milwaukee where we are for a family wedding. I was just sitting down to get some updates out into the Blogosphere when I started getting inquiries as to whether I might have had the baby because things have been so quiet. LOL. Not in labor, just busy!
Yesterday Epu took the day off work so we could drive up here, but between a 1 p.m. midwife appointment at 4:30 swimming lessons for the kids, we didn't make it up here until after 8 p.m. But that was OK because the first wedding event was meeting up at Summerfest to watch fireworks, and I was able to drop Epu off at the grounds just around the same time the others were getting there.
So at the midwife yesterday we went over our birth plan with the practice's newest midwife. It was nice because usually my appointments are a bit stressful since I always have at least one of the kids with me, and this time my parents watched the kids while Epu and I went. We decided we liked the new midwife quite well; she's from A Woman's Place, a highly regarded home birth or hospital midwife practice that is ironically based just a block or two away from our Chicago apartment where we lived when we had Pebbles.
Our birth plan does not have to specifiy much, since most of the things we want in a birth are already standard operating practice with our midwives and the hospital-based center where they work. This is something I would advise every pregnant woman to strive for -- instead of gearing up to argue with your practitioners to get what you want in a birth, find practitioners who want what you want. One thing I learned from our very first birth is that when you are in labor, you are not your normal persuasive self and it's not a time when you want to be arguing with people or having to advocate for yourself. It may STILL happen that you need to advocate for yourself no matter who you pick, but if you pick a practice that is in line with your hopes, things will go so much more smoothly.
Anyway, she gave me the good news that I am Group B Strep negative this time around. This means that we do not have to think about getting to the hospital in time to have four hours worth of antibiotics drain into my veins through an IV before the baby's born; it also means that I probably won't need an IV at all in labor which is a relief. Considering how quickly our last birth went, it seems doubtful we would be able to get to the hospital in time for that anyway, but even if we did, I just didn't want to labor while carting around an IV stand. Not helpful.
Then the midwife gave my schnauzer* a check to see how far I've progressed. Normally the midwives don't do a lot of checking, but since we were a little nervous about driving 2-3 hours away for the weekend she thought it might help to know if I was already very dilated or not. Turns out I'm at 1-2 cm and (I think, hard to remember) around 15% effaced. I thought this was perfect; enough to be encouraging that when I do go into labor I'm not starting from ground zero (I've had friends who've showed up at the hospital in great pain only to be told that what they'd experienced so far was getting from 0 to 1 cm!), but not enough to make me worry that any little contraction I feel means I'll soon be 10 cm dilated.
Meanwhile, everyone is telling me I look big. My bathing suit -- a non-maternity tankini -- will barely go on and at first I was dreading the prospect of going out and buying a maternity suit but then I remembered I have the stretched-out one from last pregnancy in my hospital bag, all ready for wearing in the birthing tub. So I guess I'll have to switch to that for the kids' swimming lessons next week.
Oh, and we went bowling today for the bacherlor party for this wedding we're going to. Epu was concerned that the act of throwing a bowling ball was just the sort of hip-opening lunge that would bring on labor. After all, Nutmeg's labor started out with me doing a few lunges that the birth instructor had advised would help the baby get into a not-posterior position (it didn't work on that count, but it DID seem to move her down and into the chute.) You know, I won't say for sure that it didn't move the baby down any; since we bowled I have felt more pressure in the lower abdomen as if the head is in a lower position. I might have felt some contractions too but nothing to write home about; with this heat it's hard to stay hydrated enough NOT to have them for one thing. (But don't worry, Mom. I have my water cup right by my side as I type this).
So maybe when we ARE ready to have this baby, a few frames at the bowling alley would be just the thing.
Oh, and you know another thing I learned about pregnancy this week? They do not make push-up bras in maternity sizes. It's so sad; I have more potential for decolletage right at this moment than I have ever had, and I'm wearing a reasonably low-cut dress for this wedding tomorrow. So naturally I wanted a nice bra to make the most of my bigger-than-usual assets, which are still no more than a generous B-cup. But I cannot get into a normal bra because I need one with a strap at least 40 inches around right now. Even those are a little snug. And it appears impossible to find either a 40B bra in a regular store or in a maternity store. And while I thought the maternity store bras might fit me better, they had not a single one with any lift at all to it. Do not we pregnant women care about cleavage? Am I the only one?
Motherhood did have a little bra strap extender. If I have the energy, I could head over to the mall tomorrow, get one of those and then try Victoria's secret for maybe a nice 36B gel bra or something.
That is the news from Milwaukee. We are not having the baby at the moment. We'll send word when we do.
* My sister-in-law told me this joke today:
A woman has a schnauzer that she enters in many dog shows, and he always comes in second place. Finally one day she asks the first place winner for advice, and he recommends getting rid of the tufts of hair between the dog's toe's. "Nair will do it," he said.
So she goes to the drugstore and asks for Nair.
"You shouldn't wear panty hose for a few days after you use this," the druggist tells her.
"Actually," she says, "It's for my schnauzer."
"In that case," the druggist replies, "Don't ride a bicycle for a few days."

Another Thing I've Been Up To: Blog Networking

Despite the fact that Toth's due date is July 8, I have tickets to the BlogHer conference in Chicago on July 25, and RSVP'd to dinners and events happening in the days leading up to the conference, a scant two weeks after the date.
What can I say? I'm a) optimistic and b) not willing to miss what has become an annual networking and funfest for me.
Actually, last year was more interesting than fun since I was reporting two stories at BlogHer in San Francisco in addition to taking care of both kids. I had the support and help of good friends but no spouse with me which means I was was definitely burning the candle at both ends.
This year I'm obviously not planning on doing any reporting. I'm just hoping to attend, babe in sling.
Which reminds me that I also wanted to mention another blog-related social event I got to attend lately, hosted by my Chicago Moms Blog sisters Kim Moldofsky and Cindy Fey. Kim did a great job summing up the event on her blog. It was quite chic as it was held in the party room of one of those new high-rise condo buildings near Navy Pier, and the spread was both delicious and elegant, including homemade goodies by the hostesses and good provided by sponsors. I broke all pregnancy rules by sipping mimosas and diving right for the artisinal cheese from Pastoral. The Jane Addams Hull House Museum provided jam and from the sounds of that place I will have to get my little Laura Ingalls fan over there to EJ's neighborhood to check out the old fashioned activities. Then there were three Eli's Cheesecakes. No one else got to try those, though, cause I ate all three.
Beyond stuffing my face, it was lots of fun to put faces to names I've read on Chicago Mom's Blog, like Caitlin (who by the way has a new blog on Chicago now called Wee Windy City), Karen and Liz. Oh, and Nutmeg was impressed that I got to meet PBS Kids hostess Miss Lori, who now blogs on CMB too. Dork that I am, I chatted with Miss Lori and listened to her great readings (yes, we did readings) for a couple hours without recognizing her as the smiley lady I see on TV with that little guinea pig.
OK, so this is a much delayed tribute, but I want Kim and Cindy and all the sponsors to know how much I loved this event. The rest of y'all? I just wanted to make you jealous. ;-)

Pregnancy Update: 37 Weeks, Don't Midwives Even Like Va-jay-jays?

Check out that belly -- it's actually big! Just today two different people assessed my state of advanced pregnancy accurately. A mom at the park asked, "Not much longer?" and a dude behind me at the grocery store looked me over and asked, "8 months?" Sir, you should work at the carnival! I almost asked him to guess my weight, too, which according to the midwife is 170.5, up 1/2 pound from my visit 2 weeks ago.

I'm actually feeling better than I did when I last wrote about pregnancy, mainly because Toth has indeed dropped and stopped the torturous expansion of my rib cage. Nowadays, I still wake up a million times a night to pee -- that actually got worse when he dropped into my pelvis, as you might imagine. And I still feel achy when I wake up all those times, but the aching is just in my hips. I don't know about you, but the ribcage is just a tender area that should not be abused. The hips, well, mine at least, are built to take some.

So far nothing feels labor-ish, which is very good, because I have a mild cold and still have a long to-do list (more on that below). I do have a baby's head pressing down on my cervix, as the midwife confirmed Monday by palpating, so I wouldn't be suprised if a certain M.P. makes an appearance or something. (If you are grossed out by anatomical pregnancy details, do NOT follow that link. I warned you.) But the midwife confirmed my feeling that in anything but a first pregnancy, the baby dropping does not necessarily mean labor is imminent. In fact, she said, if I were to go swimming or something, the baby might even float back up again a bit.

Well, that's incentive to NOT tackle that to-do list item that involves a trial membership at the local gym. I like the baby where he's at, thankyouverymuch.

Besides, the midwife also agreed with my suspicion, after two posterior babies, that the recommended swimming, leaning-forward sitting position, etc., probably won't do much to make Toth lie the right way. It's probably just the way I'm built that seems to encourage my babies to come out sunny-side up.

Anyway, besides all that I've been feeling tired, which is not too surprising. I got another hemoglobin test on Monday to see if I'm still low on iron, as well as a Group B Strep test. Actually, the midwives just handed me a long swab and sent me to the bathroom to collect my own sample. They also told me they won't necessarily check me for dilation before 40 weeks, since there's not much point to it. (Any veteran mom will tell you about that one pregnancy where they were walking around for WEEKS 4 cm. dilated, and about that other pregnancy where they were a fingertip dilated at their OB appointment and delivered 4 hours later.)

I kind of wonder, though, if these women even LIKE vaginas? Because if not, maybe you are in the wrong line of work, ladies. I was all ready to drop trou, and the nurse was like, take your OWN Group B Strep culture. In eight months of visiting these women, I've only had my pants off once.

In less anatomical news, I've checked some items off my pre-baby to-do list:

• Listen to hypnosis tapes. OK, SOME of this is done. I still definitely need to do some "fear release" because I must admit I've got some negative feelings about birth when I think about going through it again. I know, how could I feel anything but gay anticipation about another most glorious day of womanhood where I'll be seized with menstrual cramps on steroids and my taint might tear right open? (See what I mean? Negative thoughts. Need hypnosis sessions.)
• Find camera. Done! It had fallen behind my bedside table.
• Create baby registry. Done!
• Schedule appointment with back-up OB. Done.
• Get some blogging work done. Done. But still more to do.
• Pack hospital bag. I did most of it tonight while putting away laundry. Or maybe about 1/2 of it. But anyway, it's started, and how much do you really need to bring anyway?
• Non-birth related tasks: Got wedding present and dress to wear at wedding (I even found something that will work if I'm pregnant or if I've already had the baby. Thanks, Majamas!), ordered one Father's Day present, have an easy-to-execute plan for other.

Gee, it felt like I had checked off A LOT more items when I was doing this stuff. Looking back at my list, there are still 1 million items not crossed out. Oh well, tomorrow is another day.

What I've Been Up To

So, to-do list. One of those items was to fulfill outstanding professional obligations and stockpile some blog posts for "maternity leave." The first part is done. Here are some of the stuff I published while fulfilling those outstanding obligations:
At the SF Chronicle:
Computer Gamemakers Eye Social Networks
Avatars, Attorneys in New World of Virtual Law
(Don't read the comments. People who comment on newspaper sites are the world's biggest a-holes.)
On Travel Savvy Mom:
Review of Key Lime Cove Water Resort (video finished and to be posted soon)
Hotel Monaco Review
On Traveling Mom:
A Visit to the Wisconsin Dells
Rediscovering the Joys of Traveling Without the Kids
On Wise Bread:
Grocery Store Earth Angst: Tackling Some of Those Questions About Buying for Health and Environment
Supermarket Angst Part II: What Eggs Should I Buy?
On Chicagonista, my friend MJ Tam's great new site:
Submitted a review of the Dinosaurs Alive exhibit at the Brookfield Zoo, should be posted next week.
On Chicago Moms Blog:
Celia Sotomeyer: Mom Hero
On Frugalista:
Free and Cheap Family Summer Flicks
Free Loot for Readers: Chicagland Summer Reading Programs
And tons of daily deal posts.
On Shoplifting With Permission:
All the usual deals including how I made money this week buying ice cream and pasta sauce at Jewel.
On Uptake's Travel Industry Blog:
All kinds of stuff about the travel industry. I post there twice a week and will through the end of June before taking July off.
What I owe yet before the baby's born:
A June post for Wise Bread, which will be Part III of the Supermarket Angst series; two posts for Chicago Moms Blog; four posts for Uptake, and pretty much daily posts for Frugalista and Shoplifting With Permission. I have no more freelance article obligations, hurray!
And of course I owe you too, dear readers! Don't worry. This will be the last blog I abandon even if I can't promise I'll always be conscious while typing it.

Pre-Baby To-Do List

Maybe if I share my to-do list with the world, I'll have more drive to actually check a few things off this list. And, to give myself a little morale, I'll include a few already-done items and have fun with that strikethrough text. Here goes!

• Arrange to pick up loaned-out baby gear from friends.
• Actually get that baby gear from friends.
• Find camera.
• Install infant seat in Subaru to make sure it fits.
• Stock up on newborn-sized diapers.
• Pack hospital bag. (Don't forget: eye shade.)
• Get needle to blow up birth ball from parents' house. Blow up birth ball.
• Pack bag of "comfort measures" for the hubs to use on me.
• Arrange childcare (my parents) and emergency in-town childcare (two friends have volunteered to take midnight phone calls) for kids.
• Tour hospital.
• Prepare changing area in our bedroom: Clear my dresser top, get new changing pad and cover, hang diaper supply caddy on wall, acquire and hang mobile, acquire another diaper pail. (Hmm, or maybe simply move current changing supplies from girls' room to my room. Pebbles doesn't really need a separate changing area in her room.)
• Clear top drawer of my dresser for baby clothes.
• Wash and inventory 0-3 size clothes and figure out if we have enough.
• Listen to hypnosis tapes EVERY DAY to prepare for birth.
• Schedule appointment to meet midwives' back-up OB.
• Shop for labor supplies (Recharge drink and palatable snacks, heat packs, massage oil, etc.)
• Get more red raspberry leaf tea and drink it.
• Make small online wish list in case anyone wants to buy baby presents.
• Order organic mattress for crib, get baby bottles.
• Order doll slings for the girls.
• Get ahead on blogging work to give myself some time off.
• Shop for easy post-baby meals (already did some; got 7 packages of spaghetti sauce today for NEGATIVE $2.25.)
• Write up birth plan. (Doesn't need to be extensive since most of what we want is standard practice for the midwives.)
• Sign up for cord blood donation.
• Sign up for 2-week trial at local gym in order to get some swimming time in.
• Post important phone numbers all in one place on fridge (babysitting neighbor's phone numbers, midwives' numbers).
• Talk to our family doctor about being baby's doctor. (Doh! Can't believe I didn't think of this until today! Left a message for her though.)

I will probably think of about 1,000,000 other things, which I will add to this post as they come up.

Good lord! I can't believe there are so many things. And this is not even touching all those nagging "should really get this done before baby comes" things around the house. Nor other deadlines that happen to come before the due date, such as Father's Day (have a plan, must execute) and a family wedding (shop for gifts and dress, make hotel reservation).

And thanks to Sara for reminding me that by this time in her recent pregnancy, she'd ALREADY given birth so I had damn well better get on the stick, and to Dooce for reminding me that pregnancies really do end even if it seems like they never will.