Sunday, October 18, 2009

Let Me Stop Watching Balloon Boy and Get Back to the Beyonce Baby

Oh Balloon Boy saga, how I wish I could quit you.
I wish I could report that I did not go out of my way to watch the poor kid barf on live tv (via YouTube). Or that I could forget about this poor 6-year-old child under so much pressure to lie. Or stop wondering why the a cameraman would pan out to make sure America sees the barf, or why the mom at least couldn't get that poor puking kid unmiked and out of there?
Most of all, I can't stop marveling at how the parents of three young children could be so ignorant about the very nature of children. Have you ever tried to tell even a tiny fib in front of a 4- or 5- or 6-year-old kid?
I have. I have to confess that, because otherwise Nutmeg would surely out me one of these days. Because, pay attention now, Balloon Boy parents, little kids are not good liars.
Like the time we went to Monkey Island, a warehouse full of jump houses, and I said that Pebbles was under 2.
"But I REMEMBER her 2nd birthday party!" Nutmeg kept insisting as I paid and dragged them past the uncaring cashier.
Heh. I'm sure that cashier hears the same conversation every single day.
So now child welfare people are investigating the Balloon Boy family. I don't know what they'll do -- is it child abuse to be a comlete asshole and stress your kids out? If so at least half the families in America are going to have to relinquish their kids, even if the lies we drag them into and the stresses we heap upon them are a little less spectacular.
I suppose some would say I'm no better than the Balloon Boy parents, because a lie is a lie. I guess it's not such a great lesson to show Nutmeg that my integrity is worth nothing more than a $7 entry fee.
Well, I hope I'm a little better. I do promise that the next time Nutmeg barfs while getting interviewed on national TV, I'll make sure that that's the last national TV interview she has to do that particular day.
What about you guys? Have your kids outed you for lying? Are you ok with telling little fibs, like about how old someone is, even if it means making your chidren complicit?
Also, you have seen the Beyonce baby, right? "All the Single Babies?" If not, you must watch it because it will crack you up. No lie.


feefifoto said...

My father likes to relate the story of how his mother tried to sneak him into kindergarten along with his older brother. She claimed he was five but he loudly reminded her he was only four, so she had to put up with his mischief for another year. Somehow that kick under the table signal only works on adults.

Rose Morrison said...


A little off topic, but not sure how else to contact you. I'm an expectant mom and am wondering what a good price for diapers (per unit) would be? Figured you would have a good idea what's a good buy.


Carrie said...

Hi Rose,

I have a great resource for that! Baby Cheapskate ( has a chart of best cost per diaper for all the sizes and brands. I have scored brand-name diapers for 12 cents apiece which is a steal no matter what size you're talking about, I think, so I keep trying to shoot for that.