Friday, September 05, 2008

TTC/TMI

I hinted about something in my Johnn Cash post. It's the kind of thing that Miss Manners feels you do not go around telling people, and I agree. The moms at Nutmeg's new preschool do not need to hear that I've cancelled my IUD appointment and signed up for an account on Fertility Friend.

But hey, you guys are the people who got blow-by-blows on the births of both Nutmeg and Pebbles. What's a little cervical mucous among friends, right?

So, yeah. After beginning to give away our baby things and scheduling long-term birth control, Epu and I suddenly decided that we kind of, sort of, really, really want another baby.

It doesn't make any sense, I know. There have been so many days when I envied those who choose to have just one child. I have fretted about not being able to spend as much time working as I want to and counted the days until Pebbles can start all-day kindergarten (four years from now).

But here's the thing. When we got married, we thought three would be a good number of kids to have. In the past year, I've found myself increasingly thinking, "if only." As in, "I'd love to have another child, if only we had more money." or "... if only I could have more help." And even, "Maybe we'll have another child in a few years."

Epu had always wanted more children, but he felt the decision should be up to me since I was the one staying home and doing most of the work. Yes, he's a wonderful man, that sunny hubby of mine.

But really, finally I realized that I would just regret it if I let financial concerns or how much work it would be stop me from having another child, when we want one. After all, one friend reminded me, having a child is ALWAYS a nonsensical decision. It takes away our resources and our freedom. But we do it, and we rarely regret it.

I even asked the online Magic 8 ball:

Will I regret having a third child?
"No."
Will I regret NOT having a third child?
"Without a doubt."
"SHOULD I have a third child?"
"Outlook hazy."

Thanks, Magic 8 Ball. Not exactly what I wanted to hear, but pretty much on the money.

So, for those who asked, no, we're not pregnant at the moment. However, we are hoping to be very soon. While we'll keep you posted, I will not subject you to the details of how we plan to bring about the desired result.

Cause you all know about how that works, right? If you don't, you should probably NOT be reading this blog. Or the Internet!

9 comments:

Abby said...

Congrats, Carrie and Epu! Though we've never met, I feel like I know you and I'm excited for your family. I was TTC this time last year and here we are a year later with Baby B. Best of luck - the trying is the fun part ;)

Tracey said...

Good luck! Once you have that questioned child, you realize that your family was waiting for them. And that money is such a small thing, really...

Becky said...

So exciting! Good luck, you brave people.

Kori said...

Oh, I'm so glad my general nosiness may have influenced your decision to post about this.

You know how I feel about this already, but I'll say it again---with two kids as fabulous as yours are (and they are really, really fabulous, even on a bad day), a third can only add to the party.

And selfishly, as a friend who may never be able to have more than an "only" child, I love having more of your little ones around to spoil. Hurray!

Notta Wallflower said...

Good luck! Maybe you'll get a boy this time. They're not as icky as people say. :-P

Felicia said...

Yay! I am currently pregnant with the second and wondering how that's going to work... although we always talked about 3 or 4, the finances are definitely a factor. So we'll see...

I hope you get your positive test soon!

Carrie said...

Felicia -- Congratulations! How far along are you?

To all -- thanks for the good wishes.

Patois said...

I was kinda figuring, what with the pregnancy test and all you mentioned not that long ago.

Good for you. All four of you.

Felicia said...

Almost 10 weeks, and praying this one sticks around. (I've had some miscarriages in the past.) But we did see/hear the heartbeat a few days ago, so I'm really optimistic for this Easter baby!

I hope you do have three... then you can give me all sorts of advice on it. :) (My first-born, selfish reason right there!)