Tuesday, September 02, 2008

But Nobody Asked Me How I Feel


What did Nutmeg's first day of her new preschool feel like? Well, it was only one hour long, which felt more like 9 minutes. The seven hours between when we woke up and when we arrived at the preschool, though? A lot like Shel Silverstein's "25 Minutes to Go," performed by Johnny Cash.

The wakeup cry sounds like screeching chalk, I've got 7 hours to go
Why can't we sleep until 7 o'clock? I've got 6 hours and 55 minutes to go
Kids help me clean up for the cleaning lady, I've got 6 hours to go
How did that plastic shopping cart get on top of the baby? I've got 5 and a half hours to go

Let's wait till after lunch for the school clothes I've got five hours and fifteen minutes to go
OK fine wear white from head to toe I've got five hours to go
You'll have to settle down or you'll never make it through we've got four and a half hours to go
Hey I just put away that Playmobil zoo we've got four hours to go

Let's just get outside and get in the stroller we've got three and a half hours to go
Can you believe McCain picked a holy roller? we've got three hours and fifteen minutes to go
You won't go to school if you keep acting rude we've got three hours and 10 minutes to go
And now when you do I'm totally screwed we've got three more hours to go

At the store my coupons were denied we've got two and a half hours to go
When I put back all that cereal Nutmeg cried we've got two hours 25 minutes to go
You're eating lunch out on the deck we've got two hours 15 minutes to go
While I go pee on this stick we've got two more hours to go

If I'm not pregnant where's Aunt Flo we've got 90 minutes to go
Hey where's Pebbles, oh down she goes we've got 75 minutes to go
Now Nutmeg's playing with the hose we've got 70 minutes to go
Of course she's soaked through all of her clothes we've got one more hour to go

I'll just put your outfit in the dryer we've got 50 minutes to go
Wait what does it say on this preschool flyer we've got 45 minutes to go
Your spare clothes have to be in a box we've got 40 minutes to go
Can you go upstairs and find some socks we've got 35 minutes to go

Look Pebbles woke up from her little nap we've got 30 minutes to go
So tired she won't get out of my lap we've got 25 minutes to go
No time for the dryer wear this shirt instead we've got 20 minutes to go
Now stop messing up my freshly made bed we've got 19 minutes to go

Your hair is done so let's take a hike we've got 17 minutes to go
No you cannot ride your bike we've got 16 minutes to go
There's not enough time we'll have to take the car we've got 15 minutes to go
But I don't wanna be that mom who hates Al Gore we've got 14 minutes to go

Of course it has to be the day it hits 92 we've got 10 more minutes to go
Oh why did I wear these high-heeled shoes? we've got 9 more minutes to go
Now we just have to head down these stairs we've got 1 more minute to go
I've got sweat on parts I didn't know where there we've got no more minutes to go.

And then of course, I had only 55 minutes to go until pickup time.

Looking forward to the normal 3 and a half hour day starting next week! And so is Nutmeg, who of course love, love loves her new class, her classmates (including one friend from last year's school as well as a little blond girl who looks just like her and was also wearing the same exact school Tshirt).

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

and how do you feel?

Carrie said...

Oh, pretty good. Heh.

Kori said...

This is being added to my "favorite Carrie posts" list. The list is getting long, friend. :)

Congrats on making through every minute.

Patois said...

Maybe you're just too stressed for a visit from Aunt Flo, what with preschool and all! Totally enjoyed reading this.

Abby said...

Hilarious!

Bert said...

My favorite line was about you being screwed. I laughed out loud!

No little plus sign? Hmm.. Well, maybe you should just wait for me!

Becky said...

This is a masterpiece. Really. It really captures the amazing variety coupled with (let's be real) frequent tedium of taking care of little kids. Love the part about Sarah Palin.

Just so funny! And good luck to Nutmeg!

Felicia said...

So wait, what's the pregnancy test verdict???