Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Signs That You May Be 39 Weeks Pregnant

Did you miss your last nine periods? Wonder if you might be 39 weeks pregnant? Here are some signs:

1) There is not only a 1-inch vertical gap between the bottom of your shirt and the top of your pants, but a 1-inch horizontal gap as well.
2) You can count the change in your coat pocket by looking in the mirror.
3) You have to fold back the side mirror in your car in order to get past it in the garage.
4) You begin wishing you had longer arms because it is so hard to reach things such as the back burner of the stove, the salt shaker in the middle of the dinner table, and, most disconcertingly, parts of your own body.
5) You must ask your spouse if your toenails need cutting.
6) You wear the same two sweat suits day after day, even if you work at the Supreme Court.
7) You can't wait to get out of that confining sweat suit at the end of the day (i.e. 7 p.m.) and into some comfy pajamas.
8) Something inside you keeps punching you in the bladder.
9) You give birth.

If you have three or more of these symptoms, I'd advise seeing a prenatal care provider a.s.a.p. You may be 39 weeks pregnant!


Kori said...

You are so funny. Sorry you aren't able to reach things anymore. Soon, the back burner of the stove won't be a concern, because you'll have a baby in a sling, and you won't be able to lean over the stove at all. Sign you've just given birth: take out containers around your house. :)

Bert said...

HA HA HA HA HA! You rock the house, mommy.