Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Middlesex

Well, we had the big ultrasound today. Everything looks fine with Filbert. We told the sonographer that we were all very interested to find out if Filbert was XX or XY. And she said ...

"Hmm. I'm not really seeing anything down there."
Which means girl, right?
"Well, that would be my best guess. But it's just a guess. Usually if it's a girl, you see three lines right here, and I can't see anything."

Great. Filbert is Middlesex. Of course, Nutmeg and Epu are going with the assumption that it's a girl, but I am one who likes to wait until all the votes are counted. Although to avoid confusion, perhaps we should start calling it Filbert/Filberta?

Trying to nap this afternoon, while my demon spawn made noise in the next room (because she slept 5-10 minutes in the car, she feels she does not need any more nap today), I started to think about the pros and cons of having another girl. It would be real nice to have a pair of sisters, who could at least in the early years agree on decor in their bedroom. I imagine a 12- or 13-year-old Filberta filching clothes from her teenage sister's closet. Referring to them as "the girls." I like all that.

I also have to admit that I fear aspects of having a boy. People I know with boys have all kinds of childproofing contraptions in their homes that we never had a need for, like locks on the toilet lids. Boys do crazy physical stunts and get hurt, and run around making noise. Parents of boys need to decide on the circumcision question.

On the other hand, who doesn't want the full set? If I never have a boy, there are aspects of parenting that I will never experience. I certainly would love to see Epu with a son, tossing a football, that kind of thing. Not that Epu is the kind of man who would have to have a son, but for him there would certainly be experiences he would miss out on if he has only daughters.

Of course, if we have a girl this time, that doesn't mean we could never have a boy. Epu always says he wants three. Of course, that's easy for him to say, since another child for him wouldn't mean another two months of constant nauseau and exhaustion, or another 10 months of damage to his body. Nor would it mean another three years or more of full-time parenting, for him. And, of course, flipping the baby coin is an addictive game for some families. What if we end up with three girls. Would we try again, and again? Probably not, but it's hard for me to look at the youngest child in a family of all boys or all girls, and NOT think, "That one must have been disappointing."

Heh. Apologies to any third or fourth or eleventhborns out there from single-sex broods. I'm sure your mommy and daddy love you very much. Anyway, after all this handwringing, I'm back in the same place. I'm glad to find out Filbert/Filberta is looking healthy in there, and I'll be happy whether she comes out as a hamburger or a hot dog (as the sonographer put it when I was pregnant with Nutmeg). I will probably have a few nightmares now, though, where the midwife holds up my newborn and says, "I can't see anything down there." Yipes.

5 comments:

Kori said...

I'm so glad to hear that everything is a-okay with the little one. Sorry the gender discovery was inconclusive---will there be another ultrasound, or are you heading for a "it's a ____!" birth? That could be exciting, too!

As for additional babyproofing necessary for boys, all I can say is, you have heard my stories about our daughter, right? The one who chews on her crib and can unhook herself from her carseat restraints? It can happen!

tessence said...

I don't expect another ultrasound, but you never know -- I ended up having two extra ones toward the end last time. I'm definitely not going to pay $300 to go to one of those "prenatal portrait" places, so I'm guessing we're headed for the surprise birth. Which is kind of exciting, now that I think about it.

Notta Wallflower said...

I'm glad things are okay with Filbert/Filberta. I don't know about boys, after how easy K was as a child, I'd be fearful of having a girl. I think it's a matter of what you're used to. Love the hamburger/hotdog, but I'll never look at those two things the same way again.

Bert said...

I'm so glad I don't eat either hamburgers or hotdogs because that, although an incredibly cute way to say things, is rather scarring as far as eating goes. :)

So glad the new little F-nut is doing good in there. Keep up the good work!

(And, miss you, as always.)

Moxie Mom said...

Well I can tell you about boy's after girl's. My son is 8 months old and honestly, he isn't any harder then his older sister. And she was a very good baby. I had to do a fair amount of babyproofing for her since she was an explorer.

Of course the ideology around diaper changes, changes. But you get beyond that pretty quick. Breast pads make great "sheilds" if you catch my drift. I didn't need the breast pads I had so I came up with alternate uses for them.

Either way, the baby is healthy and that's great news!