Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Seventeen months after my child was born, I am still getting promotional e-mails from the stylin' maternity store Japanese Weekend. Do they not understand that pregnancy is a temporary condition? They just expect me to keep buying a few new maternity items each season to round out my wardrobe?

Continue, if you will, on this inbox tour, and we come to an e-mail titled Hygienetown e-News. Ooh, you think -- hip, ironically titled new band? No -- it's actually a newsletter for actual dental hygienists, with disgusting tips like "Simply slip the “Prophy Ball” extender into your high-speed suction, insert a saliva ejector, and pop a prophy paste cup into the indentation on the ball and enjoy effortless access to prophy paste while polishing."

I wonder how I got on that list.

Tonight, Bert came over and chatted with me and had dinner, and then we woke up Nutmeg from her late nap and the baby played most enthusiastically with Bert. She was so happy to see her, she was like a little puppy shaking her butt all over the room. Then, she acted out a scene from her Curious George book. Not the train book, but this Chinese one we have that we just make up as we go along. There's a scene with CG getting rescued by a helicopter. After the reading, Nutmeg stuck her arm straight up in the air, and called, "Nutmeg help! Nutmeg help!" I, of course, pulled her up into my arms and spun around saying, "helicopter, helicopter." So for the past half hour she's been alternating "Nutmeg help" with spinning herself in circles and crying, "helicopter!"

This kid is getting more fun to play with every day. I used to think she was a nice baby, even a delightful one. But now, I'm thinking, babies suck. I want to keep our next kid in the womb until it's a toddler. But if we do that, I think I'll give the natural childbirth thing a pass.

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