Saturday, August 20, 2005

The details, the devil

Sometimes it's just the dull throbbing of life that wears you down. It doesn't help that I am so over where we live. This week we woke up one morning to our neighbor knocking to tell us the Subaru's window was smashed. This morning I picked three little pieces of glass out of Nutmeg's carseat before putting her in it. Thursday Epu brought home the framed Brett Favre autographed jersey that we were so excited to get in order to auciton off for my brother's fundraising push. The signature is totally illegible. I don't know what kind of pen he signed it with, but the ink totally bled and faded. It's so disappointing. We already had to give our regrets to one of Nutmeg's baby friends because we already committed to a camping trip when they're having his first birthday party. Then, sitting at work Friday, I realized that -- duh -- Eliot's birthday part is the same day we are supposed to be driving to the central valley with my parents for a semi-family wedding.

This of course is all over the background noise of trying to make 1.5 incomes cover all our regular expenses plus the nanny, over struggles with our homeowner's association, over putting together nightly dinners and the constant, energy-sapping surveillance of a small child. Parking tickets, grocery lists, laundry upstairs and downstairs, overdue library books, find a new dentist. And on and on.

What I don't understand is, our lives are relatively simple. When we were DINKs I thought, how do people with kids manage it when running my own life is so overwhelming? Now I wonder, how do people with four kids, two full-time jobs, two dogs and a big house to maintain keep their heads above water? How about the people with special needs kids and elderly parents to look after.

I guess you play the hand that's dealt you. On the upside, I went in for my annual checkup and the doctor came in and said, "You look great for the mom of a toddler!" I'm not sure if she meant I should have looked fatter or tireder or more disheveled or what. But hey, I'll take it. And tell me, am I the only person on earth who actually enjoys going to the doctor for a checkup? For one thing, I left Nutmeg home with her dad this time, so I got to read the whole paper in the waiting room. Then a nice nurse tells me how nice my weight and blood pressure are, and another nice lady -- not my regular doctor, but still -- and a medical student fuss over me, inquire extensively about how I'm feeling, and tell me that the site of last year's hideous 4th-degree carnage looks just fine. OK, then they stuck a speculum up me, but if exclude that 2 minutes of the whole occasion, it's more like having a nice cup of coffee with caring friends, really.

And have I ever told you that every time Nutmeg takes a drink of something, she looks you in the eye and goes, "ah!" as in, "wasn't that refreshing!"


Hillary said...

So now I know who tessence is. Nice to meet you! I am good friend's with EJ's Mom over at Mommylu.

Anyway, loved this post because I often wonder the same damn thing. How DO people do it? My husband stays home with our daughter so we can save on childcare. But it's almost impossible for him to get anything done around the house, because…it's a toddler!

I do love time to myself, in whatever form I can get it. Grocery shopping, MD appts, dentist, you name it. We are having another, due in Feb. and I can't imagine it. What have we done?

Carrie said...

Hi Hillary! Yes, I've read lots of your kind posts over on Kori's site and think you're such an awesome friend for sending her chocolate.

Congratulations on the impending arrival! So many people tell me that even though the first year will be tough, after that having two can be easier than one because they can entertain each other by fighting. I mean playing. Actually, I was just babysitting my friend's 11-month-old this afternoon and I know that these two are easier to watch together than alone already.