Thursday, May 05, 2005

Man, you full-time working moms, I salute you. Because of this week's childcare marathon, I feel like I've been working full time this week, and it feels... exhausted. I'm so tired that when I come home at night and do all that "make-up" playing with Nutmeg and tuck her in bed, I barely have enough energy to remind myself to put those mother's day cards in the mail the next day and maybe eat a pint of ice cream before falling asleep. That same bucket of laundry that I washed Monday, on my last day "off," is still sitting in the closet, waiting to be put away. The only real housework that's been done around here was done on Wednesday by The Nanny. The Nanny who said, "I like to clean up, when I have time, OK?" as if it would be kindness itself if I granted her this favor. Also the same Nanny who said, "Can I ask you, I like to cut the babies' fingernails, can I cut her fingernails?" Gee, our very favorite job, Nanny. I don't know if I can grant you that privelege.

So yeah, I love The Nanny. And Nutmeg is taking to her too. We are definitely going with her at least one day a week. The home daycare, meanwhile, is not such a winner. Nutmeg was there all day today -- the worry from which really explains my exhaustion I guess -- and although it is very clean and very safe, and the grandmotherly caregiver there is very concerned that the babies are warm enough and that they eat, I don't think I want Nutmeg there every week. She supervises the babies, but she doesn't play with them too much. And when I showed up at five, she told me Nutmeg had slept from 3 to 4. But she was still in the playpen where she slept. So apparently the daycare lady had let her stand around in her playpen for an hour after she woke up. Although, come to think of it, she said she'd just changed her diaper, so i guess she got her up, changed her, and put her back in there for some reason. When I did my observation day I saw her leave one of the other 2 kids who go there in the playpen for that long after he had woken up. She actually played with him off and on, but for some reason she kept him in there.

But the Nanny is constantly talking with Nutmeg, playing with her, and is a real sweetie.

sigh, i just wrote a ton of stuff about our first day in daycare, then accidentally deleted it. so i'll just say that i cabbed over there at noon, and she was already asleep -- Daycare Lady let her cry herself to sleep -- and I picked her up to nurse her because i felt bad about not bringing enough breastmilk for her. She had only been sleeping 20 minutes, and she did not go back to sleep after being nursed. Whoops, sorry, i had to tell Daycare Lady, and then i took the bus back to work. Both times Nutmeg saw me arrive, she was very excited and happy, and didn't have the "mommy meltdown" that tells you she's really been freaking out about your absence. So that was good.

The whole day though, as soon as i felt myself getting absorbed in my work, i'd have that feeling i get in dreams a lot, when i realize that i'd forgotten about my baby and she hadn't eaten in a week or forgotten that i was supposed to be trying to get to the airport as soon as i found my airplane ticket.

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